Well, the soaker I was making ended up being way too big so I had to rip it out and I am starting it again but I brought the pattern way down. I hope it works this time because that was a lot of work to rip out! I did go to michaels craft and find really nice wool for a good price. I got dark pink, white, and dark purple. (I was tired of working on the cream so I had to have a change!) But with so many things this baby needs, I will be using it all up I am sure.

I need to find myself today. I feel like I am floating through the last couple of days and I need to get grounded again. If I wasnt broke I would go buy house plants and start somekind of a project. But instead I will go work in my garden. I dont really know what I will do, maybe I will build a new structure and plant the climbing spinich I have not found a place for yet. (I planted some out front because it is supose to flower and look amazing but I planted it in too much shade so it did not work) That would be fun. And I think I have all the stuff I need to make a small structure. Maybe.......I hope so.

My bday is coming up on the 16th and then my 12 year aniversery on the 29th! Then we are leaving to Mexico on the 9th of Aug!!! We are so excited!! I just found out the place we are going. It is the RIU resort in Cabo San Lucas. It is beautiful from the pics on line. Way more fancy and upscale then last year when we went to play del carmen. I dont know which one I will like better but I love the all inclusive part. They have 7 restaurants and a 24 hour snack bar. If I drank, all my drinks would be free too! But I can get virgin drinks which we did last year. Cabo is more americanized I have been told so I hope I like it as much. Last year we went on a day trip to cozmel, and it was so fun! We got some amazing deals and I loved it. I hope there is somewhere to go shopping as cheap in Cabo.

Well I better go get started in the garden before it gets too hot for me to be outside.

My sister had her baby yesterday morning at 1:09 am!! It is a little girl and she weighed 7 pounds 12 oz!!! She is sooooo cute! They named her Hannah Noelle. I got to spend a lot of time with her yesterday and since my sisters husband had to go to work of a couple of hours last night I stayed over to help out! I love little Hannah so much already! She is such a little angel.

My sister cloth diapers and all the wool soakers she had made in girly colors dont fit! (we usually have very little babies!) So she asked me to knit her some. I found a really cute pattern on line with little ruffles around the legs! It is way cuter then the other patterns we had so I am making some of those right now. My sis also wants me to make a couple longie pants for the baby for the fall. I found a pattern for those too and so I am excited to see how everything looks made up!

My sister also likes to use all natural and organic things so the wool she gave me to make the first pair of soakers is white. and I really want to dye it pink so I am going to koolaid dye it. I guess it is suppose to work really well. I hope it does not come out looking crazy or something! LOL

I am emotionally drained today. I did not think this was going to effect me so much. But I feel the loss of my baby even more. All I can say is that baby Hannah is going to be one spoiled baby girl!!! LOL . I am going to go work on the soaker and try and deal with my crazy emotions! I will update you later.

I am about to start another very busy Sat. We have three baseball games, yard work galore, and my sis and her family are coming over for dinner. I love how hectic my life is but sometimes I wish I could slow down just a bit. Oh well I guess that is what Sundays are for right???

Yesterday I accomplished everything I wanted to and I also made 12 batches of strawberry freezer jam. I had 2 and a half flats of strawberrys that were going to go bad so I had to do something with them and since I already had 5 bags of frozen strawberrys in the freezer(the inside freezer so they were safe) I decided to make jam. I use to make it every year when strawberrys went on sale but I have not made it for a few years. My kids are so excited! And now we have a ton of it! So between that and the grape jelly I make every fall, we wont have to buy any jam this year I hope. I made it with half the sugar pectin for the first time so we will see if it tastes as good.

I wrote three chapters yesterday and I am on a roll! I love it when what I want to say comes so easily. It almost makes up for all the times I have writers block! LOL

The kids are begging for homemade white syrup so I guess I better go see if I have the stuff to make it.

Good morning everyone! I cleaned my office last night and now I love being in my office! I feel much more inspired when I write now that I am not surrounded by junk and confusion! LOL

Yesterday when I was done blogging I went out in the garage to grab something for breakfast and I noticed that someone(one of my kids) had left the storage freezer wide open all night! I was so upset! We store everything in there and eveything was thawing! I wanted to cry and we had just stocked up last week. We are talking about hundreds of dollars of meat and veggies. So I got creative and cooked all the half thawed meat(20 pounds of ground beef, and 15 pounds of chicken) and made 58 family size meals with all the veggies and things in the freezer. Luckly I had a lot of disposable tins and I had to send the kids to the store to get more. So at least I wont have to "cook" for a long time now! It took me all day! I finished the last one around 7:00pm. I never want to cook again! At least now my freezer is full of meals and when I go to Mexico in 4 1/2 weeks!!! My mom wont have to cook either. I took 20 meals over to my sister who is on bedrest (she is due on July 31) so she can have her kids throw them in the oven and she does not have to do anything. It really did work out for the best but it sure was alot of work!

So I did not work at all on my book. My goal for the day is to work on my book, do laundry and clean the kitchen. Wish me luck because I never want to go in my kitchen again! LOL

Today is such a beautiful day! I woke up to my oldest children laughing, its cloud and cool for this time of year(at least for another hour or so) and I just feel happy to be alive. I know I complain alot in my posts about just about everything I can think of,  But I am truly blessed and I feel like I dont express that enough. Everyone has hard times in there lives and I just need to focus on all the positive things in mine.

I taught myself how to make Ivy topiaries(I know I really messed that word up! ) yesterday. I wanted one really bad but I just could not see paying 80 dollars for one when all it is is wire, a cute pot, and Ivy. So I went to the craft store and bought floral wire(the long 12 in kind), wire tie, and decrative metal pots, I also got these little plastic gift bags. Then I made up some soiless potting mix(perlite, peat moss, and compost) and started! It took me a little while to figure it out but when I was finished I had 6 topiaries!!! I love them. I gave 3 away because everyone who came over wanted one. All three that I kept are different shapes and when the Ivy grows all the way in they will look even better. I spent .79 on the floral wire,.50 on the wire tie, 1.00 on each pot, .50 on 100 little bags(to line the metal pots so the would not leek) and .99 on each of the Ivys(I got all different kinds so I will never have to buy another Ivy for as long as I live I will just get cuttings off of each one) My favorite Ivy is called Curly locks. I love it. I just found it the other day and bought the last 2 they had. I now have 16 types of Ivy in my house, How crazy is that!!!

I have been writing a lot these last few days. I have been trying to work on my book about losing a child,but I am having a hard time because my emotions are still so raw. I just start crying and I cant get it out on paper. I keep going back to the childrens series I have been writing. I have 3 finished books so far and now I am working on the 4 and 5. I wanted to get another book published before I sent the series in because the place I wanted to publish through (I am LDS and they are LDS based childrens books so I thought I would go through a LDS publishing company because they target LDS aduances(again I am sorry about the spelling) but they want me to be a published author first because they have so many authors they work will they have to limit them. I wanted to keep all the books in the series with the same publisher so I dont really know what to do. I think I will send them in anyway and just see if they will consider it. grandma baba told me about an online publishing company that I am excited about trying but the childrens books I think would do better with this other company. I need to just get my feelings out on paper and I think I will feel better about everything that happened. I need the closure but I guess I am not ready yet. I will keep trying though. I know the things I went through are not anything like what many people face and I am so blessed to have the 5 amazing children I have. I have so many wonderful things in my life and I am so thankful for them all. I also know that everything happeneds for a reason and for some reason I was not suppose to raise this child. And as much as it hurts I know God knows what he is doing. I will and have become stronger because of this and one day I know it wont hurt quite as much. I look forward to that day!

I am going to clean my office today. That is my big goal for the day and if you could see it you would understand what a big project it is going to be. My office also doubles for the kids school room during the summer so we have a little bit of everything in here! So I guess I need to get off my bumkis and get started! Wish me luck!!!